There are many reasons why one might want to experience a sensual massage - curiosity, personal enjoyment, self-discovery, self-help / therapy and more.
In particular, self-discovery and therapy resonate deeply with me, where sessions have a meaning beyond purely momentary pleasure. Sometimes, it's because we're trying to figure something out about ourselves; Other times we discover our bodies and minds are capable of so much more; Yet other times, it may be an unlearning and removal of barriers towards accepting our sexual self, barriers of shame and guilt that block us from pleasure that is our right - empowerment and reclaiming ownership of our bodies and selves.
A recent conversation and session with X, reminded me about some of these aspects that are so important. Our initial discussion was about enjoying a simple sensual massage, but when we started to dig down deeper into the reasons behind wanting to experience it, one reason that emerged was a curiosity about orgasms - and her difficulties in experiencing one. That actually got me pretty interested, expectant and slightly anxious about our session, because sessions like these are more complicated and tougher than usual, but also potentially much more rewarding.
Additional notes for data geeks
I’ve been giving sensual massages for the past 5+ years, and since June 2018 (approx. last 3 years) had setup a consult form for sessions together with my co-founder Pothos.
This helped us bring a more structured approach towards understanding our receiver's needs and wants better, and makes sure that our sessions are customised as best as possible for our receivers.
Since then we've had close to 400 consult forms filled up, and based on this sample size (and bias), have found that a fairly large number of receivers have either a self-discovery or therapy based reason behind their interest in a session.
Sensual massage consult form summary for question on orgasm profile
In particular, with respect to the image above - 12.2% of respondents have never orgasmed before, 12.8% don't orgasm easily (if at all). That's effectively 1/4 of all consults, or about 98 out of 392 respondents! Do note, that there is an element of selection bias, probably a higher percentage as compared to the general population and not representative of general population numbers.
We don't have the exact statistics, but a handful of receivers have also sought sessions due to issues with vaginismus (painful penetration) as well as other mental or well-being questions they've always wanted to find answers to.
In a way, for some, this can be a comforting thought, that one isn’t alone in this, that there are others who have similar questions too, and, that we are still ‘normal’.
The beginning
Chatting with X, I realised that she might be demisexual like me, and may need more than just intense physical stimulation to cum. We spent more time trying to understand each other, and set the stage for us to feel comfortable and build a level of trust with each other. Breakfast before the session was a good idea, for sure!
Back at the session room, we continued with a pre-briefing and a review of what would happen during the session, with another re-emphasis that this experience was entirely for her and there should be no expectations or obligations she should feel on her part (to reciprocate etc). That we will go with the flow - and follow what comes naturally. So, stage set, it was time to begin and dive right in!
Starting with a back massage, my focus was on finding and releasing tightness throughout her body - many times, via our mind-body connection, tightness affects our mind and makes it more ‘closed off’ - so it was essential for us to release that as much as possible and in the process, get ourselves mutually comfortable with physical touch.
Was pleasantly surprised to hear her moans of pleasure as we slowly sank into the zone, where time seemed to slow down, and I encouraged her with some prompts to practice an active receiving, mindfulness, and being as present in the moment as possible.
From then on, things slowly built up, with a roller-coaster ride of different touch and varied sensory components - heavy vs light vs featherlight pressure, tactile sensations of light and moderate fingernail scratches, scent components of the massage oil, meditative music and more. Releasing muscular tension, but interspersing that with teasing, and also an ebb and flow of arousal as the session progressed.
Signs wise, it was all positive, but the big question remained - would we be able to reach the elusive O, or not? No matter though - as I did share earlier - the point of a sensual massage is NOT orgasm, but the enjoyment of a journey, the experience shared, to ‘stop and smell the roses’, appreciate life and ourselves. And so enjoy that journey we did!
Body to body (b2b)
Eventually, we found ourselves with her facedown, and I’m flat on her back, my chest fully pressed against hers. With loads of physical touch components - rubbing against each other as I slide up and down her body. Keeping the pressure firm and steady, I run my hand down her side, teasing her breasts and waist, enjoying how she buckles and moans with pleasure from such close contact - in addition, hot breaths, kisses on her shoulders, neck and ears also escalated that arousal level to the max!
A quick teaser from behind, I stay pressed against her back, sliding my hand to her clit from underneath, and finding it totally soaked through - I guess we could still up the ante further though? 😈 Light strokes on her clit brought that explosive powder keg all ready to blow! And... just before it did, I slowly disengaged - there was more to experience it was too soon to cum just like that right? Indeed it was - and so it was time for that roller coaster to climb back up in preparation for the next thrilling drop! 😜
Shoulders, neck, front and chest
“I'm going to need you to turn over”, I whispered in her ear, “and I'm going to blindfold you as well to help you focus your mind better and heighten your other senses”. X agreed and flipped over, slowly cooling down from our intense build up a moment before that.
Switching back to a more massage approach, we started with some pectoral stretches as well as muscle relaxation techniques on her neck and shoulder regions. I also threw in some pressure point work on her head, that is known to help with stress relief. A different set of moans (still pleasure) emerged - yes, a great massage can make one moan too, and there's no judgement about it - that's great too!
After some stress relief, I decided to re-explore sensory play with X, starting with her head, ears and neck... Blindfolded, she was even more sensitive around those areas, and I totally exploited that to the max!!!
As she started to respond, I began transitioning to the chest and breast area. Alternating between soft tissue massage and light teasing across the tummy and breasts, arousal was starting to build up once again... Involuntary moans, hip thrusts, arching of her back - what a delight to see and be a part of it!
Affirming that it was all beautiful, I wanted X to feel all the positives in emotions and self - at this point, affirmation was also a part of helping to unlearn any shame or guilt in her indulging in her own pleasure. Empowerment.
Yoni
Next, it was time to give her yoni some attention. Slipping downwards, I took my time to explore the folds and ridges of the external vulva and clit area. So much sensitivity and sensation there, I used a very light touch as X did share that she is much more sensitive below and that sometimes, touch can be painful due to over-sensitivity.
Note to readers: Sometimes, guys especially, can be too rough in this area too soon - it depends on the receiver and you do need to read the body language and communicate if a gentle touch or a hard pounding is required (she'll *gasp* tell you what works if you ask).
Gentle does it (and yet on further post-session communication, I learned that I could be even gentler!) for now. And finally, it was time for us to work our way to her internal A/G-spots. Slipping in two fingers, slowly but surely - more involuntary gasps and moans ensued.
Slowly building up pressure inside, while at times, alternating with a light brush of her clit, set the stage for the explosion. I upped the A-spot stimulation wayyy up (yes, it was time to get a little bit more forceful!) and the buildup resulted in some very intense moments as well as some squirting and mannnn, did the bed get soaked (I use waterproof sheets so it's 👍👌😜).
Giving her some time to cooldown after this round of stimulation, I lay down on top of her while controlling the amount of pressure on her chest and gave her a hug. “Take deep breaths”, I reminded her to simply breathe and take in the experience so far.
But I wasn't done yet 😜😈. As this was a discovery session, I wanted her to try TWO of my favourite toys, the nJoy Pure Wand as well as the evergreen Hitachi Magic Wand (rechargeable). Once she was fairly rested, I asked for permission and we decided to go for round 2.
The nJoy, coupled with mindfulness meditation and slow, purposeful movements, can be quite mind-blowing for most. Imagine that, and when nearing a peak - adding in the Hitachi vibrator on her external clit..! That intense pleasure sensation is sometimes too much but at the same time, absolutely intoxicating.
Exploring, experimenting and playing, we probably reached the highest climax point of the session here. In those moments, uncontrolled and involuntary movements, moans, exclamations, gasps and more ensued - at this stage, many barriers of shyness and facades erected were all torn down.
We successfully short-circuited the thinking mind and X to a certain extent, let her body as she was built, simply run wild! 😍 That was the point and, again all beautiful to observe and what an honour to be a part of.
Coda
Finally, after a long cooldown period, we ended our session with a quick shower and back to planet earth. Post-session, we both agreed that there was much new experiences to process and think about, and I'm happy that she manged to get some further understanding and insight into herself and her body.
Footnote: In case you were wondering, during the entire session, I wore my usual exercise tights, at no point were they removed.
Dear reader, I hope this recount of an amazing session experienced will inspire you, in being open, in exploring more and different experiences, as well as take away some insight too 👍👌.
Cheers, Mike