A fictional first-person account of a sensual bondage session:
My body throbs with arousal, eagerly anticipating my Master's next touch. I've been teased and left on edge for nearly an hour.
The blindfold prevents me from seeing him but I can hear his steady breathing and calm voice. All my other senses seem to be amplified as his touch draws my attention. Desperately seeking release, my hips unconsciously buck forward, only to feel the coarse restraints of ropes holding me back.
The snug embrace brings me security and I begin to process the textural intricacies of my predicament - how I feel, how Master is guiding my body, how it exposes my most private areas to him, how he appreciates my all and takes such care of me.
A sweet sigh of contentment escapes my lips and a smile begins to form on my face. I await his instructions and my obedience is well rewarded by his approval and praise. I have pleased him, and now I am complete.
Master gently begins to untie his pattern, branded onto my body, all the while delicately caressing me, his fingers firm and strong yet smooth as silk. Though I am being released, my blindfold stays on, as he instructs me to fully focus on the moment and be mindful of my body…
In the darkness, I suddenly feel drips of warm liquid splash on my body. The heat of it brings to my mind how Master wanted to pamper me, and experiment with sensory play using a special massage wax.
Slowly, he begins to massage me, kneading the warm wax all over my body, bringing me to a place of extreme comfort and bliss. Soon, all the tension in my body start to dissipate, I feel so relaxed, I simply melt into a puddle of flesh and happiness.
Master begins to approach my nether regions, and I start to feel the familiar buildup of desire and arousal. My fingers clench, my breath quickens, my back arches and hips raised, wanting all of him to enter and complete me.
A peak, and my body struggles in orgasmic bliss as electricity races across, every tingle and touch seemingly magnified. As tremors run through my body, I spasm involuntarily and let out a suppressed moan. I've finally had my first orgasm. But that's when Master lets me know that it won't be my last tonight...
Exploring Sensuality in Bondage & Domination
At first glance, sensual massage doesn’t seem to have much in common with bondage and dominance - but that is only on superficial examination and untrue.
Meditative sensual massage (MSM) places emphasis on our mind as much as body - this encompasses understanding of your partner(s) and their aspects of attraction and arousal. It is definitely not limited to only gentle or mild exploration and play.
The above fictional account illustrates how a sensual massage and bondage session could flow, with both sensual massage, bondage and domination elements being integrated into an entire holistic experience.
In the subsequent part of this article, we would like to share some ideas for bondage & dominance play as part of sensual massage and sensual exploration.
We’re assuming no prior bondage or domination experience, so some of the points below may appear fairly basic to some, but please bear with us for the benefit of those that are new.
Note: This is partner-specific (check out our previous article on the female orgasm), thus the first key applies - free and open communication with your partner is essential!
1. Safe words and responsible play
Firstly, discuss boundaries beforehand as well as safe words for stopping play or reducing intensity. Some people like to use traffic lights as an analogy - red for stop, amber/yellow for slow down. It’s important to agree on what should be done beforehand so that during play, all parties can fully let go and enjoy the moments shared.
2. Iron fist in a velvet glove
As the focus of Meditative Sensual Massage (MSM) is sensual exploration, a firm yet gentle / dominant yet caring approach may work best. There are elements of tenderness in the way your partner is treated, however you maintain control, hold the keys and call the shots.
As the dominant, you control how she (the sub) can move, how she receives either pain or pleasure, as she surrenders herself fully to you. When she has done well, reward with praise, if not, punish to demonstrate your displeasure - but allow her to earn back your approval.
From bindings, restraints, to physically overpowering her - take control of the moment and ensure that her experience, her pleasure is yours to give. Do not be a stingy master, however, but reward generously as you see fit.
3. Basics - Single column & double column ties
The core skillset required for bondage play would be a good understanding of how to secure your sub well (knots do not go loose over time), quickly (so that the mood/energy of the moment is not lost), without unintended pain and without injury. And the core of this would be an understanding of both single column and double column ties.
There are many good resources and tutorials on this (shared below) so we won’t go into detail here - but we will stress that it is important to do your homework well to give of your best to your sub.
4. Sensual play with ropes
Ropes themselves have a texture and roughness to them. Different rope materials provide different tactile feel. You may experiment with various types of ropes to see what works best for you and your sub. Do note that some ropes are more prone to leaving marks on the body where tied - use that knowledge to your advantage.
As a start, explore the feel of different types of rope at different locations on your sub's body. For example, bind your sub, then experiment with tactile and sensory play (of varying intensity) all over the body. The same type of rope may provide different feel when knotted or tensioned, so use your imagination here!
5. Blindfolds / hoods
Blindfolds / hoods are also amazing in enhancing the sensory experience as well as increasing the anticipation and intensity of the moment!
Do note that sensory play also includes sensory deprivation and sensitization - hoods can also be used in conjunction with earplugs to cut out sound as well as light. Many people do experience a heightened sense of awareness and/or enter a ‘zone’ when deprived of sensory input.
With blindfolds, explore teasing and tantalizing your sub’s mind - whisper your thoughts and intentions to her, suggestions that may drive your sub crazy with anticipation - make his/her wait for release that much more worth it!
6. Approval, praise and discipline
Deep inside many of us is a desire to be praised. Give your sub feedback when she is doing well and pleasing you with her actions. The converse - punishment also serves to intensify the emotions and sensations felt.
Used throughout the session, this component feeds the sub’s desire to serve and please. When they do so, a deep sense of satisfaction and pleasure can ensue.
7. Edging & orgasm denial
Domination can also be expressed as control over your sub’s orgasms - whether she is allowed to orgasm or not. This element however is rather hit and miss - communicate with your sub to understand if this is something that is desired or enjoyed. Depending on your sub’s orgasm profile, edging may or may not be directly pleasurable and you can react accordingly once you understand them more intimately.
8. Relax then arouse then relax again
To make the entire experience even more mind-blowing - utilize your sub’s full dynamic range of sensation, mindset and emotions - begin with a sensual massage and allow her to fully relax and find her ‘ground state’ before you start to turn up the arousal level, pain or pleasure.
Post-exploration, you may use massage as a part of aftercare - especially when very highly intense sensations (even pain) and a high degree of dominance are exerted during the session. The massage component connects both parties intimately and communicates care and concern underlying the core of each interaction.
9. Conclusion - go try it out!
Bondage and domination can be very intimate and very intense. As a counterpoint to sensual massage, both relaxation and intense sensations can be used to help your sub experience the full range of what their body and mind has to offer.
You may not be able to experiment with all the ideas above in a single session, however, feel free to mix and match them for your mutual pleasure and enjoyment!
Continue to safely and responsibly probe the limits of the human body and mind, and do connect with us here to arrange to experience such sessions, share feedback and your own stories with others!
References:
1. How to tie a basic one column tie with Twisted Monk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UhzIQCoLjDc
2. How to tie a basic two column tie with Twisted Monk - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7ItFtMDL-9I